Bad Luck Bowser
by Mishieru Hime
Summary: Bowser's tyranny has taken over Smash Mansion, striking fear in the Smasher's hearts. Luckily, Sonic gave Bowser a taste of his own medicine by secretly sneaking in a bad luck potion into Bowser's cola, giving him bad luck for an unknown amount of time. Currently taking requests for any misadventures.
1. Prologue

***insert your average disclaimer about not owning Super Smash Brothers, Nintendo, Konami, or Sega.***

* * *

"Ouch!" cried Peach as she fell down to the ground. Bowser had recently injured her really hard and ran off. She picked herself off the ground while Mario and all the female smashers crowded around her with a first aid kit and yummy treats such as cookies, chocolates and candy. They crowd surfed her to the living room and placed the princess on a couch.

"Oh my God, are you okay? What happened?" Zelda dashed in with some chocolate cookies so Peach can cheer up.

"It's Bowser", sobbed Peach. "I innocently bumped into him. He got all mad and brutally attacked me for no reason."

"Bowser? That guy's been giving us a hard a-time too! He punched me in the nose when I was about to talk to you. He told me to stay away from you or Luigi dies." replied Mario while he cleaned and bandaged Peach's wounds.

"He broke our mallets!" whined Nana. "Now I can't go mountain climbing with Popo!"

"Don't worry girls, Bowser is so, like going to get it." said Samus in a positive voice. She patted Peach and Nana on the head.

The group didn't realize that Sonic was secretly behind a couch, eavesdropping on them. He was armed with binoculars and a voice recording device. "The group wants Bowser to get it? I'll make sure he gets it. Besides, he caused me a few broken bones." Sonic snickered in an evil voice. When the group was done taking care of Peach and left her to rest, Sonic quietly returned back to his room to put away his recording equipment. He took out the phone he "borrowed" from Snake and dialed the number to a magic shop he found on the Internet.

"Azeroth Magic Shop, how can I help you?" said the cheerful female voice.

"Do you have any potions that cause negative effects in the consumer?" asked Sonic in a curious voice.

"We're sorry but we're sold out of our Liquid Horror, Bladder Flow and Sleeping Elixirs." said the woman. "May we interest you in our Nasty Mystery Potion?"

The word "nasty" piqued Sonic's mind. He needed a nasty potion, no matter what the effect it does on anyone. Well, except for death. He didn't want to be charged of murder if Bowser dies from drinking it. Still curious, Sonic decided to ask about the potion anyway.

"How does it work?" questioned Sonic.

"Each potion is a mystery and gives a random negative effect for a random duration. The potion's effect can range from hiccups to memory loss, and the duration can range from 1 minute to permanently. The potion is 5 dollars each and we're not responsible for physical or mental damage to the consumer." informed the woman.

"Are you sure you want to buy this seemingly dangerous potion?" she continued.

"Sure! I'll buy 2!" replied Sonic. He gave his phone number and address so the potions can be delivered to the mansion.

"Thank you, your potions will be delivered in 1 hour. For best results, combine the potion with a tasty drink, such as juice or soda. It's tasteless and colorless, so your victim won't discover that you put something in his drink. We hope to see you in person sometime Mr. Hedgehog." said the woman. _Click_! She hanged up. _Beep!_

1 hour later, a knock was heard on Sonic's door. He opened it up to see Snake giving him a large cardboard box.

"I paid the lady the bill. You owe me ten dollars and that box!" growled the mercenary. Snake stormed off, leaving Sonic speechless. He took the box to his room and opened it up. Inside, he found the potions he ordered and some other stuff that he didn't order including a spell book, a wand, a few scrolls and some mana potions.

"Guess that will make a good birthday or Christmas present for Link or Zelda." he thought. He shoved the items under his bed so no one will be suspicious. He took one of the potions and the box, and brought it downstairs. Snake was busy drinking a glass of beer, when he noticed Sonic and the box. He walked over and snatched the box from the hedgehog's hands. He put it over himself and crawled over to Samus's room. Bowser was busy talking with Ganondorf and Wolf, and nearby was Bowser's refreshing cola. It was positioned on a modern glass table beside a delicate lamp that Peach bought for the mansion.

"I Falcon Punched Captain Falcon today!" boasted Ganondorf.

"Isn't there rumors that you'll get replaced by some guy from that Skyward Sword game and Wolf will be replaced by Fox's girlfriend?" questioned Bowser.

"Me? Ha! I won't let that Star Fox do that to me!" snorted Wolf.

While the 3 villains were gossiping, Sonic poured the potion into Bowser's cola, used his finger to stir the cola, and quickly ran upstairs. Bowser took a gulp of the cola and finished it at once.

"Refreshing!" said Bowser. He stretched his arm not realizing that he was going to knock over the lamp.

_**CRASH!**_

The lovely lamp was shattered in pieces, giving a near-death heart attack to everyone in the living room and waking up Peach from her beauty sleep.

"Uhh, Hi Peach." Bowser tried to keep a straight poker face, but was greeted with Peach and her frying pan.

"GET HIM!" she screamed as she pointed her frying pan at Bowser. The girls chased him with their weapons and knocked out Bowser.

Meanwhile, Sonic was back in his room reading a magazine. He was greeted with another knock on the door. The hedgehog opened up the door and saw Samus. She winked and said "I knew Bowser was going to get it."

* * *

**Now since Bowser is cursed with bad luck, what misadventure do you want to see Bowser in?**

**Liquid Horror (scares people), Bladder Flow (reduces bladder need to 0) and Sleeping Elixir (energy need increases faster) are from the Sims 3: Generations. Like Above, I don't own that game.**


	2. Kirby's Food

**To KipperCat25 and Sonar. Thanks for being the first few people to favorite this.**

* * *

Bowser, Ganondorf, Wolf, Dedede, Wario, and Mewtwo have arranged a movie night. They have managed to lobby Master Hand into forcing all the smashers except for the 6 of them to be in their rooms at 8:00 instead of the usual 10:00. In front of the villains was a selection of movies from the latest blockbuster to a fine classic and a remote control.

"No character development, no plot, violence only." suggested Ganondorf. Before he could say any other things he wanted, Wario tapped the Gerudo on the shoulder.

"Here you go." said Wario. He gave Ganondorf a movie called "Final Destination". The cover looked exciting, because Ganondorf assumed that it's about a roller coaster that kills people. He pressed the open button, popped in the DVD and waited for the movie to start. The DVD took them to the menu screen and when Dedede was about to press "Play Movie", Nana walked into the room.

She looked at the villains and yelled "Hey! What are you doing at this time? You should go to bed!"

"Well why are you still up at this time?" questioned Dedede.

"I have to get my mallet that I accidentally left here!" the mountain climber cried.

Mewtwo used his physic powers and made the mallet appear in Nana's tiny hands.

"There? Are you happy? If we see you again, we'll tell Master Hand that you aren't in your room." Mewtwo blackmailed. He escorted Nana back to her room and returned back a few seconds later. Wario picked up the remote and almost selected "Play Movie", but he was distracted by Wolf.

"WHY DIDN'T ANYONE BRING FOOD!" howled Wolf.

"Well you didn't ask." yelled the villains.

"Fine. I'll get the food." complained Bowser.

Bowser walked into the kitchen and checked the pantry for any snack food. Some of the food was normal (ex. Marth's sour cream and onion potato chips) while some of the food was just plain weird (ex. Ness's Peanut Cheese bars). He took out his entire group's food and went to check the fridge.

The fridge was way worse. The pungent smell of moldy food filled the air the moment Bowser opened it. Assorted containers of forgotten spoiled food lined the fridge, because the Smashers were too busy going out to order food from the restaurants. Bowser gave up and shut the fridge because his nose couldn't take the smell.

Behind him, there was a stash of yummy snack food in a large transparent plastic bag that didn't have a label. Bowser attempted to find one somewhere on the bag, but after 5 minutes of searching, he gave up.

"Ah, screw it." Bowser pondered. He took the whole bag and dragged it over to the living room. He dumped out the bag and the contents spilled out. Cans of soda rolled on the ground and the packages of chips and candy crinkled as they fell onto the carpeted floor. The villains were grabbing the yummy packages of food like children after breaking a piñata.

"Without further ado, let's start the movie!" Dedede announced in a joyful voice. He picked up the remote, pressed play and let the villains enjoy the show.

Meanwhile, Kirby woke up with an empty stomach. Half asleep, he trudged down the stairs and he was almost at the kitchen when he heard noises of the chewing of potato chips. Curious, the pink puffball walked into the living room to see the villains snacking on some junk food.

"Piyo Pi Pi! (That was my food you idiot!)" yelled Kirby.

"You didn't label it like Master Hand told us too." defended Wario.

"Pi Piyo Piyo (Well, I forgot!)" Kirby whined.

He walked over to Ganondorf and attempted to swallow him.

"WHAT THE HELL KIRBY?" yelled the Gerudo, as he tried to find something to cling on for. But it was too late; he was trapped in the pink puffball's giant mouth. Kirby ignored his rage and spat him out like a seed. He used his new powers to Warlock Punch Bowser into the walls.

_**BOOM!**_

The crash made a deafening noise that woke up the fighters, Assist Trophies and Pokémon, and lured them downstairs. When they got there, they saw Bowser's face stuck in the walls and drywall was scattered everywhere. The villains were covered in a fine white dust and the floor was wet because the cans of soda spilt out of their containers.

The other villains looked behind them to see everyone gathered around them, and because the Smashers woke up, they were clad in pajamas, nightgowns, and some of the men were shirtless. A few smashers wore slippers and socks, while the rest were barefooted. They were in attack position and some wielded baseball bats, swords, or Lip's Stick.

Kirby faced the half-asleep fighters and cried "Piyo Piyo! (They stole my food!)"

"No big deal Kirby. Food can always be replaced. Your life can't. Now go back to bed before you get killed." advised Meta Knight.

"Meta Knight is right. The roster not your personal army." agreed Ike. He stood up on the couch and said "Everyone, please go back to your rooms. We'll do something about Kirby tomorrow."

He and some of the fighters who agreed with Meta Knight and Ike went back to their rooms, while others stayed behind and gave Bowser the evil eye.

"Bowser, how could you? Why would you steal an innocent person's food?" questioned Mario.

"First you broke the lovely lamp I bought for the mansion and now you took someone's food without asking? You are a bad person Bowser!" said Peach in an angry tone.

"Yeah!" said everyone else. Jigglypuff sang a song to make Bowser fall asleep on the spot and vandalized his face with a black permanent marker. Everyone else attacked him with punches, kicks and other assorted weapons, shoving him deeper into the wall. At the end, only Bowser's tail was sticking out of the wall.

"I don't think we'll be having another movie night for a while." said Wolf awkwardly while Ganondorf and Dedede pulled Bowser out of the walls and help the other villains carry him to Dr. Mario's office.

* * *

"**That was priceless. He should get Kirby upset." – Sonar**

**Meme version: Finds food. It's Kirby's stash of food.**


	3. Customer Service

**STOP! Before asking "What does this mean in English?" in the reviews section, read the translations below after reading this.**

* * *

On a lazy afternoon, Bowser was recently finished shopping at Smash Mall. His shopping bags were bulging with new toys and games for his son, who was still residing in Mushroom Kingdom. A bit mischievous, Bowser went to a nearby payphone and popped in a 25 Smash Cent coin. The Koopa's thick fingers dialed the number to Smash Mansion, and he patiently waited for his call. He still showed signs of rage from his crimson face because he couldn't' wait any longer.

* * *

Meanwhile, back in Smash Mansion, Ike, Marth, Pit and Link were in the games room playing a friendly game of Rock Band. The games room has a variety of tabletop games (ex. foosball, air hockey) and a Wii, PS3 and Xbox360 with every game and accessory. Popular activities there include playing multiple party games with friends and finding a random person to play with them.

"I'm the Top Champ, I'm the Top Champ, competition got me none, show me what you got son, I'm the Top Champ." chanted Link, after he got the most points in the song.

"I'm hungry, let's eat some take out!" announced Marth.

"Marth, what do you want to eat?" asked Pit.

"CHICKEN!" yelled Marth.

"Let's order…that yummy chicken from Kakariko Fried Cucco!" said Link. He was imagining devouring the animal that keeps attacking him back in Hyrule.

Everyone in the games room (Fox, Falco, Mario, Luigi, Toon Link, Ness, Lucas, Ganondorf, Wolf, Jeff) was drooling when Link said "Cucco".

"Chicken Chicken Chicken…" drooled Ike.

"Well, guess I'll call the nearby Kakariko Fried Cucco in a while. Tell me what you want to get. Otherwise, I'm ordering 1 bucket of popcorn chicken, 1 bucket of chicken drumsticks, 10 large fries, and 2 2 liter bottles of cola and root beer. Leftovers are given to the younger Smashers and everyone here in the room, then I'll bring it to the kitchen to see if anyone wants it." said Ike.

* * *

"**RING!"**

"Hey Ike get the- Ike get the phone!" hollered Marth.

"Yo, alright hold up..." called Ike. He dashed over to the phone to answer it.

"Hello?"

Bowser's rage stopped at the reply and attempted to imitate a Japanese person.

"Konichiwa? Konichiwa" asked the Koopa.

"Hellooo? Hello?" asked Ike.

"Konichiwa. Hi uh… I callin 'cause I order my T-shirt from FapTheBowl Co, but I still don't get my T-shirt." said Bowser, still imitating his Japanese accent.

"What? Napkin Co? What?" the mercenary questioned.

"-Yo? Who is it?" Marth called out.

Ike quickly looked at Marth and replied, "I dunno, man. Hold on?"

"Konichiwa?" Bowser inquired.

"I want my T-shirt" Bowser demanded.

"Wait who is it? Hold on a sec." Ike instructed patiently. He passed the phone to Marth.

"Young man, I want my T-shirt." roared Bowser.

* * *

"Hello?" questioned Marth.

"Hello? Young man I want my T-shirt! Is this Marth?" Bowser continued.

"Ko-Konichiwa?" the prince stuttered.

"-This Marth?" questioned Bowser.

"Koreha dare desu?" Marth continued to stutter.

"Marth, I want my T-shirt. I want my T-shirt with your face in it!" Bowser continued to yell at the phone. Several shoppers were staring at him, wondering what's happening.

Marth was visualizing how he would look like on a shirt, but he snapped out of it and replied "Anataha nihonjin desuka?"

"Hello?" Bowser continued to ask.

"Hey, who the f*ck is this?" muttered Marth. Luckily, Bowser didn't hear it. Meanwhile, Link was raging and screaming because he lost at some first person shooter game.

"Wait, hello?" Marth continued.

"Eh? Hello?" said Bowser. He was already frustrated and his voice scared a mother and her child that they went off to call security.

"Who is it? Who is it? Marth- Why, what do you mean why?" yelled Marth. He couldn't hear anything else from Bowser except the word "…T-shirt"

"Eh. Neh" whined everyone else, because they got owned by Ike in Mario Party.

Still confused, Marth passed the phone to Pit.

* * *

"Konichiwa?" asked Pit curiously.

"FapTheBowl so crazy! I want my T-shirt!" hollered Bowser in a loud voice.

"Nanto iimashitaka?" Pit questioned the voice.

"Konichiwa? Is this Mr. Pit? I want my T-shirt, Pit, do you have your T-shirt? I want my T-shirt." Bowser's voice was becoming angrier every sentence he says.

"Konichiwa?" The angel's voice grew more confused at the word "T-shirt". He looked at the other gamers and said "I don't think he's speaking in English."

"I want my T-shirt." While those demanding words were said, Pit secretly gave the phone to Link, so he can deal with the person who was attempting to scam them.

* * *

"How are you?" said Link in a cheerful voice.

"Konichiwa?"

"Soreha 'anataha dare desuka?'" Link said sarcastically.

"Young man, young man. No joking! No more joking!" Link didn't hear it and said some random Japanese.

"Marth, you say something" Link said quietly. Before he could, Snake, who was reeking of chlorine walked into the room to use the TV. Instead of passing the phone to Marth, the boys shoved the phone into Snake's hands and ran back to the couch to play more video games.

* * *

"Hello?" grumbled Snake.

"Yo? Who is the man with the huuuuusky voice? I want my T-shirt!"

"Eh?" asked Snake. He was already angered after Yoshi and Samus shoved him into a swimming pool. He didn't want anyone else to ruin his day.

"T-shirt! Young man, don't shout at me! I want my T-shirt!"

"What T-shirt?" Snake barked.

"-Do the right thing!"

"Wakai otoko? Wakai watashi wo yon deiruka? Nanse suka?" growled Snake.

"Oh my God, I want my T-shirt!"

"Eh? Kare ga naniwo shiteimasu?" said Snake in an angry voice. "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey SHUT THE F*CK UP!"

Everyone in Smash Mansion stopped what they were doing and they heard Snake's rage. For some odd reason, the Colonel on Snake's mobile receiver heard it too.

Bowser was shocked by that response, looked behind and saw multiple security guards about to chase him. He hanged up and ran off.

"_Click."_

"_Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep." _ went the phone. Snake tossed it to the group of boys playing video games and stormed out of the room. His day was already ruined by Yoshi, Samus, and Bowser.

* * *

**Japanese phrases in English:**

**Koreha dare desu? = Who is this?**

**Anataha nihonjin Dekuka? = Are you Japanese?**

**Nanto iimashitaka = What did you say?**

**Soreha 'anataha dare desuka?'" = It's 'who are you'?**

**Wakai otoko? Wakai watashi wo yon deiruka? Nande suka? = Young man? You're calling me young? What?**

**Kare ga naniwo shitemasu? = What is he doing?**

**FapTheBowl is the name of a (fan fictional) secret society in Smash Mansion and will be featured in further chapters. The headquarters are in the games room and includes Marth, Ike, Pit, and Link. Roy used to be in this society, but he left after he was evicted from the mansion.**


	4. Food Fight

**This isn't my best, since I've been working on 2 other projects.**

* * *

It was evening in Smash Mansion and everyone was at the grand dining room, looking for their food.

The room has 8 different tables for each group sorted by category. Near the entrance was a gilded table with 6 different chairs for the original Smashers and was occupied by Mario, Luigi, Kirby, Fox, Donkey Kong, Captain Falcon and Yoshi. There was another low glass table beside the gilded table for the Pokémon and was occupied by Pikachu, Lucario, Charizard, Jigglypuff, Ivysaur and Squirtle. Behind the 2 tables were another two glass tables for the members of FapTheBowl (Ike, Marth, Pit and Link) and a smaller version of the table for Ness, Lucas, Toon Link, the Pokémon Trainer, Ice Climbers and Diddy Kong. Near the kitchen entrance was a tall, large table for the villains and was used by Bowser, Ganondorf, Wario, Dedede, and Wolf. The sad part is that the girls (Peach, Zelda, Samus) have to deal with the ordeal of sitting in the square pink table next to them. At the checkered metal table near the Smasher's snack stash sat Snake and Sonic, because they are non-Nintendo characters. Finally, there was an IKEA-Style table for the Smashers who didn't fit to any of the categories (Pokémon, Original Smashers, FapTheBowl, Kids, Villains, Girls, Non-Nintendo). This sad table was used as the eating quarters for Falco, R.O.B, Olimar, Meta Knight and Mr. Game and Watch. Instead of chatting with the other group mates, those "misfits" were eating their meals in silence, quietly whining in their heads about why they can't sit next to their friends.

Before the meal, a few Smashers such as Ness and Lucas were secretly munching on the Kakariko Fried Cucco that Ike gave them after the Customer Service incident. When Master Hand walked up to speak to everyone, they secretly wrapped the leftover chicken in a napkin and stashed it into their pockets.

"Hello everyone. Instead of our chefs making a large bowl of today's special meal, we will now roll out individual plates tailored to you. Each meal has an appetizer, a main course, a side orders and a dessert. This feature will not affect breakfast and room service; you can still refill your drinks at the soda fountain, and get your salads and soups. Enjoy!" said Master Hand. He bowed down and left the dining room.

Then, a whirlwind from the kitchen door appeared and it flew all around the tables, blurring everyone's vision. When the whirlwind faded out, a variety of food in trays was in front of each hungry Smasher. Most of the foods were normal, like Peach's meal set (roast beef and gravy, mashed potatoes, breadsticks and cheesecake), but a few Smashers have exceptions. For example, R.O.B's meal set was just pieces of metal and holographic meatloaf, and the Ice Climber's meal set was separate for the 2 climbers.

"So Bowser, how was your prank call to those morons?" asked Ganondorf.

"It wasn't ok. The victims were talking to me in Japanese, five different people answered the phone, and a guy that sounded like Snake yelled at me too." Bowser sobbed.

The villains didn't realize that the members of FapTheBowl could hear them. Ike was busy chewing on a hamburger, when he accidentally heard the villains speaking.

"Bowser prank called us?" Ike thought. "I better suggest to the group on how to get revenge on that spiky weirdo."

Ike swallowed his food and tapped Pit on the shoulder, distracting him from eating his pita sandwich.

"Pit." Ike said quietly. "Bowser actually prank called us. Do you want to get revenge at him?" he whispered into Pit's ear.

"Bowser did it to us? Let's have a food fight!" Pit suggested. The other members of FapTheBowl heard and Link got a pen and paper and wrote up a plan.

"Since Bowser only has 4 of his friends, we could make it Non-villains vs. Villains." Link said, as he drew a map of the cafeteria. "We have good ammo because they gave Marth and I mashed potatoes. So if we throw it at Bowser, we could attract some attention." he continued while he wrote up the list of suggested ammo. The Hero of Time finished writing the list and presented it to Marth. Marth picked up the strategy plan and read the ammo part. It said:

* * *

**Link's suggested ammo:**

**Corn**

**Mashed potatoes**

**Meatballs**

**Olives**

**Peas**

**Pie**

**Soup**

* * *

The list could go on and on. Marth passed the list to everyone in the group so they can read it. Since everyone had at least one item on the list, the plan worked. Link formed a mashed potato ball and hurled it at Bowser.

"FOOD FIGHT! VILLAINS VERSUS NON-VILLAINS!" yelled Link at the top of his lungs.

The girls ran off to tell Master Hand, while everyone else grabbed some food from their trays, formed it into balls, and threw them at the villains like snowballs. The villains retaliated by throwing their own food at the Smashers too, focusing on the FapTheBowl members. The fancy, peaceful dining room morphed into a chaotic battlefield.

At the end, everyone was hit with a piece of food at least once. Snake was hit only once on the hand, he just licked the food off and hid in a cardboard box for the remainder of the fight. Bowser was hit the hardest; he had a layer of fresh food on his shell and was covered head to toe in a variety of foods. The villains were luckier and were only hit once or twice.

At last, Master Hand walked into the dining room with the girls.

"Who started the food fight?" demanded Master Hand.

Link was a popular person, so the Smashers hatched a plan to defend Link.

"It was Bowser!" blamed everyone.

"Bowser, what you have done is really bad. You will be on kitchen duty for one week." said Master Hand in a serious tone.

"But…" stammered Bowser.

"No buts."

Master Hand escorted Bowser out of the dining room and to his room.

"It isn't fair." thought Bowser.

* * *

**Meme version: Food fight. Framed.**

**Based on KipperCat25's review: "Hey, thanks for mentioning me in this! ...you should make some smashers go out to eat at a restaurant and have the whole thing go completely wrong. Haha just an idea for you!"**

**Not exactly, but I'll try to grant her request in a different chapter.**

**Hint for the next chapter: Pokemon**


	5. Pokemon

**Any names mentioned here in the Mary Sue's names are a name choice and are not related to anyone. I do not make or support Mary Sues, except when portraying them in a negative light.**

* * *

Bowser was really hungry, so he went to the shopping mall to see what's on sale The glass doors slid, begging him to enter the mall. He browsed the shops, but he remembered that new import food shop that Ganondorf asked him to go to. The Gerudo wasn't feeling well, so he instructed him to go there to buy Lon Lon milk.

He had recently won the jackpot in the Smash Tournaments, so he had over ten thousand Smash Dollars on hand and was willing to eat a piece of imported food. Bowser walked into the imported food shop. The shop smelled like incense and had a variety of food like Jammin' Jelly or some Superspicy Curry roux. He was greeted by a young Toadette who was at the nearby register.

"Hello. Welcome to Smash Imports. Would you care to check out the meat department for our newest delicacies?" she asked.

"Thanks. I'll check later." Bowser said. He walked over to the drink fridge. Bottles of Chuckola Cola, Zora Coffee, different juices and waters lined the fridge. At eye level was the milk. There were two types of milk on display. One was the economical Lon Lon Milk Ganondorf asked Bowser to buy. The other was expensive milk called "Chateau Romani". Rumors said that it tasted divine, but the two hundred Smash Dollar price tag put Bowser off.

Bowser only remembered the milk, and not the specific brand of milk, so he stashed five bottles of Lon Lon milk and a bottle of Chateau Romani into the plastic red shopping basket. He then walked to the meat department and saw a cheap bargain: Kanto Turtles for ten Smash Dollars a kilogram. Turtle Soup (or as they call it, Koopa Soup) was a delicacy back in the Mushroom Kingdom, most of the soup served was made from the Koopas who had committed heinous crimes. Ten Smash Dollars seemed like a deal. He walked over to the counter.

"Hi. I'd like to buy a Kanto Turtle." inquired Bowser.

The seller weighed a frozen Kanto Turtle. Bowser watched as the turtle was placed on the digital scale and the numbers increased.

"The turtle weighs 4.5 kilograms and that will be 45 dollars." said the seller.

Bowser pulled out two twenty Smash Dollar bills and one five Smash dollar bill, and forked it to the cashier. The seller placed the still-frozen turtle into a plastic bag and handed it to Bowser.

"Over boiling the turtle will make the soup more flavorful" advised the seller. "I make those for my kids"

The giant Koopa went to the cashier to pay for the milk. The final price was 250 Smash Dollars. A receipt printed out of the cash register, and the Toadette ripped it out and gave it to Bowser. She then asked,

"Did you know that we're having a promotion?"

"What promotion?" Bowser replied.

"Silly Cucco, we're having a grand opening promotion! Since you spent 250 Smash Dollars, we'll give you 10% off or a Smash Import gift basket!" she smiled.

"I'll take the basket." the Koopa chose.

The Toadette removed her cell phone from her belt and said "We need a Grand Opening gift basket." She hanged up and put the cell phone back into her belt.

5 minutes later, a Hylian employee came out of the storage room with a wicker basket decorated with ribbons. Over her blue dress was a green apron. She placed the basket onto the counter and went back into the storage room.

Bowser peeked into the basket. There was a variety of candies from different regions and a book about delicacies from every region of Nintendoland and how to make them.

Bowser thanked the lady and left the store and the mall. When he got home and into the kitchen, he saw Master Hand with a perfect-looking and friendly girl and a strong-looking boy who looked like he could beat Meta Knight or Ike in a battle.

"People like you are not welcome in my mansion, Mary-Sue Lauren and Gary-Stu Devon." said Master Hand while he carries a pink suitcase in one finger, and a blue backpack in another. "Bowser, will you escort them out for me? I'll take care of your groceries." Master Hand threw the luggage to Bowser, and took the bag and the gift basket with the Kanto Turtle over to the counter.

"I think you mean, L'ayren Emerald Pearl Hilla Crimson Silverlight." cried Lauren.

"Well my name is actually Debon Tyvler-Vwoif Onyx S'eayn Kaiser Magnus Jimmi Banshee Gyrant Mao." raged Devon.

L'ayren, or how they call her, Lauren had black hair worn long and she was dressed in a striped white and green top covered by a black vest and blue jeans. Her big eyes matched her clothes by changing color (blue, cyan, green, and red depending on her mood). Black high tops covered her feet, and on her neck was a key necklace. Covering her head was a black and purple cat hood. Finally, in her hands was the Eligos Bloody Red, a weapon imported from MapleStory. It was a red and black wand, and around it was a spiky ring. Seriously, if that's how she would describe her weapon, well good for her.

Devon, on the other hand didn't looked annoying as L'ayren, but his appearance was more Gary-Stuish. He had average hair, but his red eyes were flashing. It could blind anyone who got too close, but everyone's immune to his flashing eyes. He wore red and black platemail with gold trim. However, the black ripped jeans he wore contrasted with his armor. Devon wore white tennis shoes, fingerless gloves, and frameless glasses. His silly large sword, Stonetooth lay in his hands. What was he? A hero who was frozen in ice and unsealed just recently?

"Where are you taking us?" asked Lauren innocently.

"Out." grumbled Bowser.

When the three got to the outside of the dining hall, they were blocked by Peach.

"Please don't kick L'ayren out!" begged Peach. "Everyone loves her, and all the boys are in love with her!"

"Well too bad!" yelled Bowser. "They're trespassing here and Master Hand said that they're unwelcome."

Zelda walked into the dining room and noticed Lauren first. "You're just jealous because L'ayren is perfect and can be friends with everyone! Come on, L'ayren, let's get some ice cream."

"Sorry Zelda, Ice cream is delicious, but I have to go." said Lauren. "Master Hand rejected me and Debon's applications. He said that I'm a Mary Sue and he's a Gary Stu, and he wants us to come back when we get nerfs." Tears were on Lauren's face.

The two princesses understand and let the three pass through. However, they were blocked by Ike, Marth and Pit.

"What are you doing with Debon? He's our latest member!" demanded Ike in an angry tone.

"We're escorting the two Sues out. According to Lauren, their applications were rejected by Master Hand. He asked me to escort them out."

"We're not leaving until you leave Debon alone! I'm friends with him and at he's stronger and cooler than you!" yelled Pit.

Bowser sighed and knocked them out in one hit. Bowser opened the door for the two.

"Master Hand hates people like you. If we see you again, we'll call the police under trespass!" yelled Bowser.

Lauren was scared, so she ran off. Devon on the other hand, tried to attack Bowser with his "strong" powers. He was no match for the Koopa, eventually his "powerful" sword became blunt. Bowser punched him in the face and dragged his unconscious body to the gates of the mansion.

"Now we got the Sues taken care of, time to have some turtle soup!" thought Bowser in a positive voice. Bowser walked to the kitchen to prepare his soup. After 2 hours of boiling, the soup was ready to be served. Bowser took the pot and ate it from there.

The soup tasted and felt like some chicken and small chunks of tuna was boiled at the same time. The soup was savory and also tasted like the Kanto Turtle was recently killed too. The contents in the shell put him off, but he ate it anyway.

He left the pot near the sink and went to sleep. But he forgot to dispose the remains before Pit came in to do the dishes.

The next day, Bowser did his morning routine, but he got strange stares from everyone but the villains at breakfast. The non-villainous Smashers were whispering and was ignoring Bowser completely.

"Hey everyone, Bowser ate an innocent Pokémon!" announced Pit.

"But the seller said it was a Kanto Turtle!" Bowser defended. "And Pit, did you remember the talk we had about personal space?"

"Tell me more about this!" Pit ran into the kitchen, grabbed the leftovers from Bowser's soup, ran back to the dining room, and showed the pot while standing on a table. "I found that when I was on kitchen duty!"

Everyone gasped when Pit held up the metal pot with an empty turtle shell and a tail in it.

"Bowser, why would you eat a innocent little Pokemon?" asked Mario.

"A Kanto Turtle is a synonym for a Squirtle!" yelled Red.

Everyone, except for the villains charged at Bowser. The villains tried their best to defend Bowser. Snake was a mutual friend of Bowser, so he yelled

"When I was lost in Kanto, I ate a Pidgey!"

But nobody cared and they just continued beating up Bowser. When breakfast was served, there were nasty injuries on Bowser, Ganondorf, Wolf, Dedede, and Wario. As a result, Bowser's kitchen duty was extended and Snake and all the villains have to wash dishes for the next week.

* * *

**Eats turtle soup. Made from a Squirtle.**

**Chuckola Cola and Jammin' Jelly (restores 50 Flower Points) are from Paper Mario: Thousand Year Door.**

**Zora Coffee (mentioned but not sold) is from the Wind Waker, while Chateau Romani (restores your magic and infinite magic for the remaining 3 day period) is from Majora's Mask.**


	6. Bowser's Mansion

Bowser and his friends were still laying face flat on the cafeteria ground, so multiple Smashers brought their plates so they can monitor them while they eat. The only one still standing was Ganondorf, because the Triforce of Power had granted him immerse power and defense, and his armor adsorbed the stabs and slashes.

Eventually, he was close to defeat because Ike rammed his sword into the King of Evil's chest, just like when the Sages attempted to execute him. With the last of his power, Ganondorf hypnotized Zelda to heal the group, restoring their power. When the last wound faded away from the group, Ganondorf collapsed due to exhaustion. Bowser and his remaining friends continued to fight the remaining Smashers, before the Koopa's arm was grabbed firmly.

"I'm gonna bail you out since we're friends." said Snake. He let go of Bowser and the two of them fled the cafeteria.

"They're getting away! After them!" commanded Red. He pointed at them and the Smashers dropped their plates and cutleries, took out their weapons and pursued them.

"We'll take care of them!" yelled Wolf as he shot multiple Smashers to prevent them from reaching Bowser.

While Bowser's friends were fending the angry Pokémon-loving Smashers off from chasing them, Snake and Bowser reached the hallways containing Dr. Mario and Master Hand's office. They didn't realize that Sheik had pinpointed their location and sent a storm of needles after them, perfectly hitting her targets. Luckily, the needles bounced off Bowser's shell and Snake's sneaking suit.

The duo managed to open the door to Master Hand's office, before Bowser fainted. When he woke up, Bowser was in a medical office.

The office had a bed where patients can sit and sleep on. Across was a counter and a cabinet full of tools for Dr. Mario to use. Hard chairs were lined in a row for the supervisors to sit on. There was a glass window with blinds that show the door to the nearby hospital.

"You were a lucky, lucky person, Bowser." said Dr. Mario. Snake told me that you got attacked by your peers because you ate a Squirtle. Luckily, your friends bought you some time so you can report the incident to Master Hand. You fainted because you were exhausted from your injuries and from fleeing the cafeteria. He was also nice enough to report Red to Master Hand and your punishments had been transferred to him." said Dr. Mario.

"Speaking of Pokemon, it is OK to eat one. They're high in protein, but people frown upon eating them because they're seen as friends, not-a food." Dr. Mario educated.

"However, your friends weren't lucky. They had nastier wounds than you. I'll show you what they dealt with." the doctor said. Dr. Mario escorted Bowser to the hospital and led him to the room where his friends rested. Dr. Mario was correct, they weren't lucky.

Ganondorf was in a coma, and some bandages were wrapped along his bare chest. Beside him was his armor and crown. Dedede had multiple bruises which was possibly from Ness, the Ice Climbers or Kirby. Patches of fur were missing on Wolf, and Wario was nowhere to be seen in the hospital.

"Try to refrain from-a battling for a while, make sure you rest as much as you can to regain-a your lost energy." instructed Dr. Mario. He gave Bowser a canister of white pills.

"You may go back to your room now." Mario said. He patted Bowser on the shoulder before leaving the room.

Currently, Bowser was resting in his bedroom, which was a replica of his bedroom from his castle back in Mushroom Kingdom. The room was painted a faded dark purple with polished dark wooden floors. Portraits and gothic-style windows lined the walls while a medieval themed four poster bed was placed in the top middle area of the room. Nearby, was a wooden desk with a computer and a keyboard slightly jammed with cookie crumbs. Sitting on the desk was a doll that resembled Mario. Pins were stuffed into the chest, legs, and hands of the cotton hand-stitched doll.

"Knock, Knock, Knock." went the door. Bowser wanted to get some rest, so he ignored the sound. The knocking went for two minutes before a brown envelope slipped under the door and was occupying the entrance like a welcome mat. Curious, Bowser got out of his bed to claim the envelope and took it to his desk. He took out a letter opener, opened it and found a letter with a couple of photos and a silver key. The Koopa read the letter.

* * *

_July 24 2012_

_Dear Mr. Bowser,_

_Congratulations!_

_You have won the "Win a House, Win a Car!" Grand Prize from Tingle's Rosy Rupeeland Lotteries._

_The Grand Prize is a mansion located near the heart of Downtown Smashville, an urban city home to the famous Super Smash Bros. Tournament. Nearby activities include shopping, sightseeing and watching the latest battles._

_Your new house is a perfect place to wind down after a busy day. It includes six bedrooms with six en-suite bathrooms, a stocked games room and patios leading to the swimming pool. Emulating the famous Luigi's Mansion built by Luigi, country-style decorations and beautiful walls are featured in the mansion as well as one marble fireplace in the living room, ample windows that allows natural light, a cooler preloaded with a variety of red and white wines, and each room is pre-furnished with luxury furniture. The Master Bedroom features a walk-in closet, an HD TV, and an en-suite bathroom with a bathtub including a shower beneath some sleek lights. The kitchen feature professional stainless steel appliances imported from Cornaria that will envy even the professional chefs! After a day of work, head over to the hot tub, to let your troubles melt away. If you're a gamer type of person, come to the games room filled with multiple tabletop, board, and video games to play the newest blockbuster game or an old masterpiece. If none of those fancy you, there's a heated swimming pool that can be the star of any party you host and a home cinema to watch the latest movies in high quality with surround sound!_

_Also included with your mansion includes:_

_A sauna_

_A 2500 Smash Dollar gift card to Smashville Groceries_

_One year's worth of milk from Lon Lon Ranch and Romani Ranch_

_Four seasons of sporting goods_

_A Deluxe Nintendo kit including a Wii, a coupon for a 3DS (you choose the color), 4 WiiMotion Plus remotes, nunchucks and Classic Controllers, a Wii Balance Board and 100 of Nintendo's most popular Wii and 3DS games_

_One year of housecleaning service_

_A yearly subscription to the Nintendo Times_

_For a sneak peek, please check the photos included with the package. With kind regards, we hope you enjoy your new mansion. _

_Tingle, CEO of Tingle's Rosy Rupeeland Lotteries_

_P.S, If you have any questions, please contact us at XXX-XXX-XXXX._

* * *

Bowser took out the photos in the envelope and examined it. The place looked good, making Bowser want to live there right now. But then he realized "That's weird, I didn't enter any contest. I'm not sure if it's a hoax, but I'll just call Tingle right now."

Bowser took the desk phone and dialed the number to Tingle's Rosy Rupeeland.

"Welcome to Tingle's Rosy Rupee Land Lotteries Customer Support. My name is Malon and I will be your customer support representative. What brings you here?" asked the female voice.

"Hello, I'm Bowser. I got a letter saying that I won the Grand Prize in the contest 'Win a House, Win a Car'. I didn't enter the contest, but I want to verify if I still won." inquired Bowser nicely.

"Let me check our records." There was a pause for 5 minutes before getting a reply from Malon.

"According to our records, you did win a mansion. However, an anonymous person must had bought a ticket and put your name in it. You still won the mansion, but it isn't transferrable. Tingle also wanted to meet you outside the mansion, so he can help you get set up. Meet him at 10:00 PM." said Malon.

"OK. Thanks." said Bowser. He hanged up.

Bowser didn't own a car, so he takes the tranit anywhere in Smashville. He exited the mansion and walked to the Smash Mansion Station. He scanned his transit pass, making the turnstile move. Bowser patiently waited at the station before the roars of the subway could be heard. When it arrived, Bowser got on the subway and pulled out a newspaper for the time being.

The subway arrived at the "Downtown" station, so Bowser got off. It wasn't safe because it was night, but Bowser was dying to take a look in his new mansion. After a 5 minute walk, he was at the gates of the mansion. The mansion was exactly how it was described in the letter and in the photos, but unlike Luigi's mansion, the mansion looked innocent and the moon was shining all over it.

Bowser took out his key and opened the gates to the mansion. He started to walk at the mansion, slowly, so he can take a look at the luxurious mansion. He inserted the key into the dark wooden door, and it opened. Suspicious, Bowser opened the door slowly, taking a small step into the foyer. He expected to see Tingle, but he was nowhere to be found. The light switch didn't work properly, so Bowser took out his phone and used it like a flashlight. The light wasn't strong like he would expect from a regular flashlight, but it was better than nothing.

"Hello?" asked Bowser. His voice echoed before being adsorbed by the darkness. Still curious, he walked up the hardwood stairs.

"Tingle?" Bowser called. There was still no reply. Giving up, Bowser opened the nearby door. It creaked, but the door was jammed. Fustrated, Bowser wanted to leave the mansion, however, when he tried to open it, it was jammed! He looked back to see a golden key, floating in the air like a cloud. A golden aura emitted from the key before falling to the ground. Meanwhile, the aura floated to the upper foyer door before disappearing.

Bowser picked up the key and had an idea. He could go upstairs, use the key and maybe Tingle was inside. Bowser walked upstairs, turned the key, and opened it, leading to the games room.

The games room had two tables for air hockey and foosball, and nearby was a large TV with a Wii hooked up. On the shelves were the Wii and 3DS games that Tingle promised and some other board games that Bowser didn't care about. He walked into the room carefully, before an orange ghost popped out of nowhere! Bowser tried opening the door behind him, but it was locked and jammed, just like the entrance door.

He could call his friends for assistance, but they were all in the Smash Mansion Hospital, still injured from the Turtle Soup incident. When Bowser thought he would be the guest who was imprisoned in his own mansion, the orange ghost was screaming for mercy as it was about to be sucked into an unknown force.

He looked back to see a strange old scientist with a hybrid between a backpack and a vacuum strapped to his back chasing the ghost. Eventually, the ghost punched the man, knocking him near the walls. It taunted the professor before disappearing.

Confused, Bowser walked over to to the man.

"Ouch, I'm too old for this." whined the man. He looked up at Bowser and said "Nice to meet you. I'm Professor Elvin Gadd. This house seems to have more ghosts everyday."

"What's a young fellow like you doing around here?" he asked.

Bowser was about to tell him about the lottery, before 3 of the same orange ghosts appeared. The door seemed to work, so they both fled the mansion into a nearby shack beside it.

"Your name's Bowser?" the professor verified. "I think our paths were meant to cross."

"Yes, but why are we here?" asked the Koopa.

"This is where I do my ghost-studying. It's Professor E. Gadd's laboratory!" he announced.

"I was here because Tingle said that I won the mansion in one of his lotteries, and he wants me to meet him. I didn't even enter one of the lotteries in the first place" answered Bowser.

Gadd rambled about his ghost busting stuff and how that mansion appeared a week ago, before giving more information about Tingle.

"A man in a green suit entered the mansion, ignored my warnings, and never returned. I'm not sure if he's a dream, but I think he is!" Gadd replied.

"That was the guy who was the CEO of Tingle's Rosy Rupeeland Lotteries." Bowser answered.

"Well that guy couldn't stand a chance against the ghosts." Gadd mocked.

"Enough chit-chat. I'll give you some tools so you can rescue Tingle and reclaim your mansion." he also said. The professor handed him a vacuum cleaner and a Game Boy Color. "Now hurry along, I'll teach you how to use those tools."

* * *

_Coming Soon: Bowser's Mansion_


	7. Bowser's Party

**This story is a slight tribute to LordLenne's yaoi fanfiction "Newcomer's Initiation", since minor themes from his fanfic is expressed in this story (ex. Master Hand's test).**

* * *

"NO!" shrieked the giant Boo as he was sucked into Bowser's Poltergust 3000. At the same time, Bowser's phone vibrated. He answered it while the vacuum continued to suck King Boo.

"Hello?"

"I found that green suited guy who was stuck in a portrait." said Mr. Gadd. "Come to my shack to see him."

Bowser ran out of the ghostly mansion and into Gadd's shack. Sure he defeated King Boo, but that incident's going to give him mental trauma for a while. He opened the door to see Gadd with Tingle. Tingle was confused about what happened and Gadd was trying to tell him that he was trapped in a painting.

"Hello Bowser." said Tingle. "Sorry for not being in the mansion. Come with me and I'll help get your mansion set up." he said. Bowser and Tingle walked to the mansion so they can make the house suitable for living in.

* * *

**2 days later:**

Bowser was in Smash Mansion handing out invitations for his party. His friends were recently released from the hospital so they were socializing with Bowser.

"Sweet! A costume party at Bowser's Mansion?" exclaimed Dedede.

"Costume party? Nice!" said Wolf.

"Yeah, so you guys better come to my mansion!" said Bowser in a cheerful voice.

"Are you inviting the Melee Rejects?" asked Wario.

This wiped the smile off the Koopa's face. "Oh that…Well you see…" said Bowser negatively.

* * *

**Flashback:**

_On the last day of the Melee tournaments, Bowser woke up one morning to see his room trashed. Broken machinery was lying everywhere, furniture was smashed, and anything of value was either ransacked or destroyed._

"_Stupid Mario." thought Bowser._

_He walked downstairs and fixed himself a Yoshi egg omelet stuffed with Ultra Mushrooms. Ganondorf noticed Bowser sitting looking depressed and decided to confront him._

"_What happened Bowser? You looked depressed today." asked Ganondorf kindly._

"_Someone vandalized my room." Bowser said negatively._

"_I feel bad for you. My room was also vandalized too." Ganondorf tried to cheer up Bowser, but no matter what he did, he couldn't._

_Link heard the conversation and tried to help them solve the issue. "Maybe someone pranked you." the Hero of Time suggested._

"_Even though it sounds like a prank, it's still-a serious business. Our rooms were trashed too." Mario joined in._

_The four of them wandered the mansion and asked everyone if their rooms were trashed, but the word "no" escaped from each Smasher's mouths._

"_Don't worry guys, at least our rooms were insured." Link said, trying to be positive._

_They eventually bumped into Master Hand on the way back._

"_Are you OK guys? Your faces look red." asked Master Hand._

"_Someone vandalized our rooms!" Link sobbed._

"_One of our guards told me that four people went into your rooms while you were sleeping and vandalized them." said Master Hand. "He doesn't know who they are, but come with me to see the tape and see if you can identify them."_

_The four Smashers followed Master Hand to the security room and entered it. Master Hand turned off the lights and pressed the play button._

_A small Pikachu, a tall-looking Pokémon, a warrior with red hair and a smaller version of Link entered Ganondorf's room._

"_Hush guys, if Master Hand finds out, we'll be kicked!" yelled a voice. The voice sounds like Young Link._

"_Pichu" said the small Pikachu._

"_SHUT UP PICHU!" yelled a teenage boy._

* * *

"_Wait, that voice is Roy's voice." said Link._

* * *

"_WHY NOT ALL OF YOU SHUT UP!" yelled a Pokémon voice. He sent aura balls flying at the group._

_The group proceeded to destroy and ransack Ganondorf's room._

"_Sshh, He's going to wake up!" yelled the boy. The four of them fled the room and the footage ended._

"_I think I know-a the people based on their-a voices." said Mario."_

"_Who are they? If the suspects are correct, I'm disqualifying them from the next tournament, so don't try to report the people you hate." Master Hand said._

"_Young Link, Mewtwo, Pichu and Roy!" chanted the four of them._

"_OK, thanks for identifying them. I'll gather the 4 of them to see if it's true." said Master Hand. "You may continue practicing."_

* * *

**2 Weeks Later:**

_Master Hand walked to the foyer to post a new paper. Excited, everyone rushed to see the new post, including Bowser, Ganondorf, Mario, and Link. The four of them shoved past people to read it._

_The page said:_

_"Due to an anonymous reason, the following people will not participate in the Brawl Tournament: Young Link, Pichu, Roy, and Mewtwo._

_Dr. Mario has retired and will become the new Smash Mansion doctor._

_Except for Dr. Mario, all people no longer participating have one week to pack up before their rooms are cleared. Unclaimed belongings will be given away to the other Smashers._

_In other news:_

_The following people had sent an application to join the Brawl Tournaments and are accepted to perform the test: Altair (__**Assassin's Creed**__), Cloud (__**Final Fantasy**__), Diddy Kong (Donkey Kong), Dixie Kong (Donkey Kong), Ike (Fire Emblem), Isaac (__**Golden Sun**__), Jeff (Earthbound/Mother), King Dedede (Kirby), Krystal (Star Fox), Little Mac (__**Punch Out!**__), Lucario (Pokémon), Lucas (Earthbound/Mother), Lyn (Fire Emblem),Meta Knight (Kirby), Midna (The Legend of Zelda), Olimar (__**Pikmin**__), Pit (__**Kid Icarus**__), Plusle and Minun (Pokemon), Pokémon Trainer (Pokémon), R.O.B (__**Famicom**__), Saki (__**Sin and Punishment**__), Snake (__**Metal Gear**__), Sonic (__**Sonic the Hedgehog**__), Sora (__**Kingdom Hearts**__),Toon Link (The Legend of Zelda), Toon Zelda/Sheik (The Legend of Zelda), Vaati (The Legend of Zelda),Wario (__**WarioWare**__), Waluigi (Mario), Wolf (Star Fox)_

_Like usual, anyone who dies from the test will be sent back to their worlds, with their memories erased. However, I am changing the rules. Anyone who died, but did a superb job (ex. casting out their partners and soloing the test) will be revived and become one of our assist trophies._

_I will set up a television for each applying Smasher and some extra couches in the living room. During the break, you may watch them perform their tests. Alternatively, you may watch them on your computers by visiting the Smash Mansion website and logging in. After the tests, I will post some commentary about each applying Smasher on Smash Mansion's YouTube channel._

_From: Master Hand." _

_This enraged Young Link, Pichu, Roy, and Mewtwo._

"_Mario, Link, Bowser, and Ganondorf, stop overreacting! It was a prank!" yelled the now Melee Rejects. "We'll get you in the future!"_

_Roy flipped them off before going to their rooms to pack up and leave._

* * *

"Wow. Those peoples are a bunch of assholes." said Dedede.

"I respect Sora. He deserves to be in Brawl." said Wolf.

* * *

**Meanwhile:**

Peach, Zelda and Samus were shopping at the Smashville Mall.

"Hey, are you going to Bowser's party?" asked Samus.

"I hate Bowser, but I do love parties!" Peach cheered.

"It's going to be awesome!" Zelda said.

The girls didn't realize that Young Link was sitting on a bench nearby. Instead of his tunic, he wore a dark green T-shirt with the Triforce on it, some baggy black jeans with a wallet attached to it, and some brown running shoes. Chained to his neck was Kokiri Emerald replica attached to a gold necklace. A dark green trucker hat lied on his head, his hair styled like Skyward Sword Link's hair.

"What? Bowser is having a party and she didn't invite me?" thought "Nah, he must have forgotten. I'll show up anyway, and he'll be like 'Oh Young Link, sorry for not inviting you. Please come in and enjoy the party as my apology.' Games, yeah. But first I need to know more about Bowser's party. Who shall I ask?"

* * *

**5 minutes later:**

Toon Link was doing his business in the boy's bathroom. The young hero was reading a copy of Uncle John's Bathroom Reader: Hylian Edition that entertained him and censored his privates at the same time.

Young Link (who was wearing a Garo's Mask) kicked the stall. Toon Link let out a girly scream.

"WHAT TYPE OF PARTY IS BOWSER HAVING?" demanded Young Link. He pointed his Kokiri sword at Toon Link.

"A costume party!" Toon Link cried.

"THANK YOU!" yelled Young Link. He walked out of the bathroom, leaving Toon Link in tears.

* * *

**Later that night:**

A variety of people came to the party, from current Smashers to the people that failed Master Hand's test. They were dressed in ornate costumes and some brought their loved ones too.

"Your costumes are beautiful!" complemented the maid as she let Link, Zelda and Ganondorf in. They were dressed as their Skyward Sword counterparts (Ganondorf dressed up as Groose and also shaved his beard in the process).

"Glad you can make it!" She allowed Altair to enter. He dressed up as Ezio, one of his descendants.

"Have fun!" Ness and Paula walked in, dressed as a Victorian couple.

"I'm so glad you came!" Toon Link entered, dressed up as Vaati. She also let two guys dressed as Cloud and Sora. Those two Square Enix characters were actually Ike and Marth in disguise, respectively.

"Monsieur Bowser will be so delighted!" The Ice Climbers were accepted, dressing up as Cinderella and Prince Charming.

"Enjoy the party!" Snake and Samus were accepted, and were dressed up as Marc Anthony and Cleopatra respectively. The maid also allowed Lucas, who dressed up as Porky Minch.

"I hope you don't kill anyone." the maid said jokingly, as she allowed Fox, Falco and Krystal. They were dressed up as people from the mafia. After allowing some Sonic/Pikachu hybrid (Sonic), the maid noticed Young Link (dressed in his Ocarina of Time clothes) trying to get in.

"Hold it sir." she said firmly. This stopped Young Link in his tracks.

"Where do you think you're going?" asked the maid.

"To Bowser's party, obviously." said Young Link. The maid looked at a clipboard which had the guest's names.

"I don't think so, sweetie. It said that you're not on the guest list." said the maid. "Sorry to crush you, but you'll have to leave." She patted Young Link on the head.

"What?" objected the young hero. "Bowser forgot to invite me! Please let me in! Come on!"

The maid sighed. "Security."

Young Link was still screaming and complaining as a couple Koopa Troopas escorted him out. The maid can still hear his pleas to be let in.

"I'm telling my fans!" screamed Young Link.

"You're going to pay for this!"

"Children those days. Always being corrupted by M rated games." she mumbled as she let Wario-Man in.

* * *

**Inside:**

Loud pop music was blasting inside Bowser's mansion. Marth, Ike, Pit, Link and Altair were socializing with each other, boasting about their adventures.

"I found an Apple of Eden and saved the world from the Templar Knights!" boasted Altair.

"Altair, we now consider you a member of our society, FapTheBowl. Even through you're not a Smasher, you're an honorary member among us." said Ike. He gave Altair a bro punch.

Others were swimming in the pool or relaxing in the hot tub. Near the FapTheBowl members, Ness, Paula, Jeff, Lucas, Diddy Kong, Red, the Ice Climbers, and Toon Link were talking.

"And then he said 'Jeff wets his bed sometimes. But other than that, he's a good boy.' You should have seen the look on his face!" said Paula. The other kids laughed, leaving Jeff secretly blushing inside his Iron Man suit.

"I was just minding my own business in the bathroom, and I saw him ambush me. She threatened to kill me if I don't reveal information about the party. It was horrible!" sobbed Link. His face paint was starting to run.

"What a pervert!"Lucas exclaimed.

"PORKY'S HERE!" yelled Paula and Jeff. They ambushed poor Lucas with PSI Freeze and guns, leaving him with frostbitten skin and bullets lodged in his arm.

"YOU IDIOT! THAT WAS LUCAS!" yelled Ness. Ness escorted Lucas to Dr. Mario's portable office for first aid.

"Don't worry Toony, we're here for you." Toon Zelda hugged him. Luckily, no face paint smeared onto her Sheik suit.

Ganondorf, Wolf, Wario and Dedede were surprised by Bowser's generosity.

"Wow." said Wolf. "This party is the best one I ever had! Bowser went overboard!"

Bowser noticed the four and walked over to them. He was dressed as a Mario fanboy.

"Hey guys! Thanks for coming!" Bowser said!

"Hey! Fun party, Bowser!" said Ganondorf. He gave Bowser a high-five.

"Everyone who auditioned for Super Smash Bros was here. Well, except for the Melee Rejects." said Wolf.

"I wonder what they're doing?" wondered Wario.

"I think they're somewhere, dry and warm. They must be ordering some pizza from Smashville Pizza." Bowser replied. "How about we go and play some air hockey?"

* * *

**Meanwhile:**

Young Link was sobbing. Some of his fans noticed him, but only asked for his autograph.

"I'M WET, COLD, AND UNREASONABLE!" screamed Young Link. Luckily, some of his fans noticed is pleas and gave him an umbrella.

"Hang on Rinku! We love you!" said some fan girls, as they gave him some food and left.

* * *

**Back at the mansion:**

"I think he's somewhere warm, dry and reasonable. Hope they like pizza!" Wolf said.

* * *

**Later that night:**

The group was back from playing air hockey, and just had dinner.

"Yum. I'm stuffed. Even my Gerudo cooks couldn't make those meals." said Ganondorf.

"Me too." replied Wario.

"Guys. Luigi volunteered to run a sundae bar. You can't not eat his legendary sundaes! He's the star of every party each Smasher runs! 10 ice cream flavors and 100 toppings for the win!" said Bowser.

"I don't want sundaes." Dedede said.

"Why not?" Bowser was concerned.

"Cause. There's no fish toppings." he said.

"WHAT?" Bowser was enraged.

Before they can get up and have sundaes, the lights went out. Everyone was going agony, and tears from the younger Smashers were heard.

"Guys calm down and move on!" instructed Bowser. But no one listened; they were still panicking and moaning about the blackout.

"We want our sundaes!"

A spotlight appeared on a man dressed up as the Red Death, Fierce Deity Link, Mewtwo (yes, he was uncostumed), and a zombie Pichu. Everyone gasped.

"Ladies and gentlemen, why so silent?" asked the Red Death. He jumped over to the floor, while everyone gasped. He took off his mask slowly, revealing Roy.

"We are tonight's entertainment." Roy said maliciously.

"You suck. Bowser invited Altair to perform some stunts for us. You guys are more stupid than a box of rocks." Ness said, annoyed.

"Do you think we had left you for good? You remind me of the Water Temple. I hated the Water Temple! Always keeping me imprisoned and not even Ruto would help me. Do you know how it's like to suffer? No. I bet you're one of those people who don't have to deal with annoying puzzles." screamed Fierce Deity Link.

"You talk funnier than Porky." said Jeff. He was still blushing ever since Paula told everyone that he wets his bed. In his hands was the Iron Man helmet he wore. He was getting sweaty from wearing it and took it off to prevent sweat from building up.

This angered Fierce Deity Link. He swung his sword and sent two sword beams at Ness and Jeff. At the same time, Peach's phone rang (Her ringtone was Watcha Say), playing fitting music for the scene. When she answered her phone, the sword beams had hit Ness and Jeff completely, stunning them and instantly placing them into a coma.

"ENOUGH! Rejects, why are you here?" Bowser demanded. "YOU RUINED MY PARTY!"

"So. Do you know why we came to your party?" asked the zombie Pichu. "Young Link called us about what happened." Mewtwo walked and made an illusion about what happened.

* * *

**Illusion:**

Young Link was still crying, even though he was confronted by his fans. He was still ungrateful; even through his name was trending on Twitter (Keep Calm Rinku).

"Why wouldn't he invite me? I did nothing wrong. It was just a prank." Young Link sobbed.

Ezio noticed Young Link sobbing and confronted him. "So your friends didn't invite you to a party. Don't worry; Master Hand rejected me for the fourth tournament, because he feared that I was a 'clone' of Altair."

Young Link just nodded.

"You know what I used to do back in Florence? I crashed multiple parties. You should try that too." suggested Ezio. This made Young Link smile again.

"Great Idea! Thanks weird hooded assassin!" Young Link pulled out his cell phone and dialed the numbers to Mewtwo, Roy and Pichu,

Ezio just grinned. "No problem, Zelda, no problem."

* * *

**Back at the mansion:**

"That story sucked." Bowser said.

"The story may have sucked." said Mewtwo.

"But it was all part of the plan." Roy said.

"What plan?" questioned Bowser.

"To distract you...from the ghosts, and…the beeping." smirked Pichu.

During that time, Altair secretly took out a bottle of crammed Boos, unscrewed the cap, and let it go. He also disguised some smoke bombs and had a special remote control to activate them.

"Beeping…wait, why are you all back in your regular clothes?" asked Bowser.

"Nighty Night Bowser." Young Link said.

"WHAT THE F*CK YOUNG LINK!" Bowser screamed as Altair activated the bombs.

The smoke and the evil laugh from the Melee Rejects and the Boos mixed together, causing blindness in multiple people. When the smoke faded, everyone was confused.

"Ugh, what happened?" questioned Bowser.

"I don't know." said someone.

"Young Link, I'm going to kill him." Bowser raged.

"Well everyone's OK…hey, where did my phone go?" Ganondorf asked.

"Mine too!"

"My phone is also gone too!"

"Young Link did it!"

"My wallet's missing."

"I'm going to strangle that douche." mumbled Bowser.

* * *

**Epilogue:**

Altair and the other Melee Rejects were in Young Link's mansion. Around them was a pile of electronics and wallets. The Rejects were too busy stripping money from the wallets and ejecting the SIM cards from the phones so they can be pawned.

"O.K guys, split the cash up." instructed Young Link. "Everyone gets 20% of the spoils." He distributed the phones and the money to everyone.

"Thanks for the bottle of Boos, Roy." said Pichu. "It did make our looting faster."

The whole mansion filled with laughter and what they're going to spend their money on.

* * *

**Dixie Kong, Plusle and Minun (Pra_Mai), Toon Zelda /Sheik are based on the "Forbidden Seven" (beta characters). I also threw in some Nintendo and 3rd party characters too.**

**The Sonic/Pikachu hybrid is Sonichu.**

**Ezio intentionally called Link "Zelda". It references how most people think his name is.**

**This fanfic merges the suggestions from MidnightNocturne and Plasmatrooper.**

"**He should hold a party at his new mansion to make up for the squirtle incident and have the ghosts try to ruin it!" – MidnightNocturne**

"**By the way, here's an idea: The Melee Smashers return to the mansion, mad at Bowser for getting them evicted and plot a horrible revenge." - Plasmatrooper**


	8. Jeff's Assistant

**Ugh…I'm lazy and running out of ideas.**

* * *

Ever since Altair assisted the Melee Rejects into crashing his party, Bowser needed to earn some money so he can pay for the repairmen. One option was participating in tournaments, but Master Hand hadn't announced any recent tournaments. He could also ask someone to withdraw him some of his wealth back in the Mushroom Kingdom. However, only Bowser Jr. knows the code to his vault and he doesn't know how to wire money to be converted. The only option was to earn money the old fashioned way: get a job.

Bowser didn't want to work full time, because tournaments may conflict with the job. Another option was part-time, but Bowser wasn't willing for the same reason. The only option was odd jobs, which can be found on the ad board outside of Smash Mansion or can be found in the Nintendo Time's classified ads.

Bowser walked back to the Smash Mansion message boards and checked the board for any new offers. Most jobs that he found were either something he wouldn't do (ex. yaoi film star), were low paying (ex. babysitting), required more experience (ex. Tingle's Rosy Rupeeland customer support rep.) or were taken (ex. Smashville representative for the Black Wings, which was taken by Ganondorf). He could be a bounty hunter and catch Jett or Phantom, but every time the Koopa manages to track their location, they escaped or stunned him.

He was about to give up and check the newspaper, when he found an interesting ad that was looking for test subjects. The ad said:

_Help wanted: Test Subject_

_Basics:_

_Subjects will test a variety of inventions._

_Criteria:_

_Males and females, over 13. Participants must know how to work with highly confidential information in a confidential environment. Minor injuries will occur, but we offer free first aid. To make it fair, people may not apply if they had taken this job in the past month._

_Compensation:_

_100 Smash Dollars for one session (3 hours)_

_Dates:_

_Every Saturday from 12pm-3pm. Applications are accepted every Fridays._

_For more information, contact Jeff Andonuts at XXX-XXX-XXXX._

Bowser thought about this offer. 100 Smash Dollars sounded like a good deal. Maybe he could steal some blueprints and use them to help upgrade his clown car. He liked it, pulled out his phone and dialed the number to Jeff's laboratory.

The next day, Bowser went to Jeff's lab to start the session. He knocked on the metal door.

"Knock, Knock, Knock" went Bowser's fist. There was no reply. He pressed the doorbell to see if it will work.

"Ding, dong!" went the doorbell. Bowser patiently waited 30 seconds, but no one answered the door. He had an idea in his head. He would knock and ring the bell at the same time, and see If anyone would answer it.

"Knock, Ding, Knock, Dong, Knock, Ding, Dong!" This created a massive noise, and the door immediately opened.

"Whoa, calm down Bowser." said the speaker. It sounded like a young boy. "I was in the bathroom, please be patient next time!" Bowser walked suspiciously in the room. It has a variety of inventions made from steel. He didn't realize that he rested his paw on some metal bar, revitalizing him. The Koopa looked around to see if anyone else took the job. Despite the nice pay, no one else was there. He heard footsteps and saw a stereotypical mad scientist and a young boy enter the room.

The young boy sported a blond bowlcut. He wore a green tuxedo and leather shoes. Resting on his face was a set of glasses.

"Hello Bowser." said the boy. "Dad…I meant Mr. Andonuts and I would like to thank you for spending a few hours with us. We have a lot of things that needs to be tested. Sorry for not introducing myself, I'm Jeff Andonuts, one of the Chosen Four. My dad and I fled to Smashville because Porky tried to force us into making some creatures called 'Chimeras'." Jeff pointed at a metal Mr. Saturn.

"We recently finished working on the Phase Distorter 4." Dr. Andonuts announced. "Not only it can travel through time and space, but it can also teleport you to many places too! We'd also equipped three new features, in addition to the previous features."

"First, it can warp living things. We don't have to transfer your soul into a machine anymore." Jeff chimed in.

"Second, you can use a remote to summon the Phase Distorter anywhere. However, there must be enough space for it to be placed." said Dr. Andonuts. He handed Bowser a remote that was attached to a spatula.

"Why is the remote attached to a spatula?" asked Bowser awkwardly.

"So it can be easier to find." Dr. Andonuts added in.

"Finally, not only you can repair your biological functions, but it also improves your attack and defense for an hour." concluded Jeff. He handed Bowser a blue notebook and a silver fountain pen.

"If you find any bugs or glitches in the machine, write a summary of it in the notebook and give it to us when you return back." Dr. Andonuts instructed. "Don't be afraid, hop in!"

Bowser obeyed his commands and tried to open the door to the Phase Disorter.

"I CAN'T OPEN THE DOOR." said Bowser, who was frustrated.

"Sorry for that. It must had fell out of the spatula key ring." said Dr. Andonuts. He let out a jolly laugh as he handed Bowser a key. Bowser inserted the key, turned it around and heard a click. The door opened and he entered.

Inside the Phase Distorter was a leather chair, a touch screen and a stylus. Bowser wasn't clearly told about how to use that machine, so he experimented with the features. After 10 minutes of exploring the system, he found out how to operate it. He tapped the "Teleport" app and was brought to a virtual map. The Koopa tapped his mansion, because it has ample space for it to land.

After 10 seconds, Bowser was warped. When he got out, he didn't see the lush green fields of his mansion like he expected, instead seeing a barren club. Bowser didn't realize that the door locked on its own; forcing him to reenter in the key if he wants to get in again.

"Is anyone out there? Show yourself, people!" hollered Bowser. His voice echoed all over the place. He looked around and heard a conversation.

"I like your hair" said a male voice.

"I know right, I got it on my 32th try at the Royal Hair Salon." a female voice replied.

"Wow, you're so lucky, I got it on my 45th try."

"Let's get married!"

Bowser's chin was so itchy, so he scratched it.

"Scratch, scratch." went his paw.

"Do I hear someone?"

The two people revealed themselves and found Bowser hiding near a door.

"IT'S A NON-NX PERSON, GET HIM!"

Bowser tried to run, but his shell slowed him down and the girl was casting a slowing spell on him. Eventually, he got back to the Phase Distorter. By the time he managed to get the door opened, hoards of attractive people were chasing him like zombies and shooting arrows, throwing stars and bullets at him. The Koopa slammed the door and attempted to teleport back.

"**BAM!" **Part of the machine was disabled. The teleportation feature still worked, but it took a long time to process Bowser's commands. When it seems that all hope is lost, the Phase Distorter teleported the Koopa back to Dr. Andonuts's laboratory.

"Welcome back Bowser, how was the testing? And why does the Phase Distorter have dents?" Dr. Andonuts asked.

"It…teleported me…to…a random location and…I was attacked…by angry people…who damaged…the Phase…Distorter." Bowser trembled in fear while saying those words.

"Oh I see, sorry for making you deal with that. My dad..I mean Dr. Andonuts would like to give you 200 Smash Dollars and we'll make another Phase Disorter so we can fix the glitch." said Jeff. Dr. Andonuts gave him two 100 Smash Dollar bills.

"Bye."

"Bye."

Bowser left the laboratory and stored the money in his pocket. His phone rang and Bowser checked the caller ID. It was Master Hand.

"Hey Bowser, we heard that you need money to repair your mansion, so this may be a great time to enter our tournaments. The prize is 10000 Smash Dollars!" Master Hand said in a cheerful voice.

* * *

**Confused about part of the story? Read Red's Nature Show for more information (It's in the crossover section)**

**Like I said above, I'm running out of inspiration and I may work on some one shots until I can get more inspiration. Check Askmishieru on Tumblr for more information.**

**Meme version: Gets a job. Jeff's assistant.**


	9. Peach and Zelda's Tea Party

After a long day of odd jobs, Bowser took out his phone and called multiple servicemen.

"Thank you for calling Larry's Carpenters. To prevent further damage to your house, please stay in a hotel until the repairs are finished." said the woman. She hanged up. Bowser went back to Smash Mansion to get a wrap up for the day. The Koopa entered his almost barren room, brushed his sharp white teeth, and got in the sleeping bag.

When Bowser got up, the sun was shining and the birds were chirping. It was going to be a beautiful day, since he was going to the beach with his friends. The Koopa did his usual morning routine and went to the outside of the dining room to claim his breakfast. The sign on the dining hall read:

_Today's Special:_

_Crepe Buffet, choose the toppings you'd like on your crepes. Over forty sweet and savory toppings available. You may choose the crepe flavor from Original, Dessert, Chocolate, Vegan (we use soy milk and margarine)_

_Fresh fruit_

_Milk or chocolate milk_

"OK Smashers, you can come in!" The grand dining room doors opened to the hungry Smashers, and they all rushed in like air rushing out of a balloon. The madness of the dining hall occurred, because crepes were a popular food choice and it can be made sweet or savory based on user preference.

In the middle, there was a buffet of multiple toppings, from the bottle of Maple Syrup to some ham slices. The tables and chairs were moved to surround the table so everyone can walk an equal length to get their breakfast.

"OK. We will now call tables up, starting with the Original Smashers. Please get a plate and help yourself." announced Master Hand.

Mario, Luigi, Kirby, Fox, Donkey, Kong, Captain Falcon, and Yoshi got off their chairs with their plates and served themselves. Master Hand did the same for the other groups until the Misc. group was back at their seats.

Bowser returned back to the table with a rolled up crepe filled with ham and peppers. He held it up like a burrito and ate it with his hands instead of using a fork and knife. The hungry Koopa was finished his meal in only 30 seconds.

"If you are finished your meal, you may go for seconds." Master Hand said. "Raise your hands, and I will call you one at a time."

**1 hour later:**

"This was some good food, I wished Vaati was here." Ganondorf said with a laugh. Bowser and Ganondorf were interrupted by an announcement from Master Hand.

"Assist Trophies, we have some leftover crepes. If you would like some, you may head over to the Dining Hall and serve yourself. We have a variety of crepes and toppings!" he announced.

The two villains didn't realize that a robed figure wearing a mask over itself was watching them. It threw a tranquilizing needle at the two.

"Bonk!" went the needle. It bounced off Bowser's shell and Ganondorf's armor.

"I guess we have to do that the hard way." thought the figure. It created a baseball bat out of thin air and ran towards the two.

"**WHACK!"** The figure hit Bowser really hard on the head, knocking him out in the proccess, and creating a giant bump on the Koopa's head. Ganondorf started to run, but because of his armor, he got exhausted easily after leaving the room. The figure managed to catch up and whacked the Gerudo on the head.

"Good job." said the figure to another figure that looks exactly like it. The voice sounded feminine, which means that the suspects could either be Peach, Zelda, or Samus. "Now help me carry those bodies."

A few hours later, Bowser and Ganondorf woke up groggily in the middle of a royal feminine room, perfect for a young princess.

The large, elaborate room smelled of expensive perfume, possibly Rosalina No. 5. The hot pink plush carpet surrounded the two villains like water, while the pale pink walls perfectly matched with it. Beneath a sparkling crystal chandelier was a pink queen-sized canopy bed surrounded by pink and white curtains. Against one wall was a white vanity with some designer cosmetics neatly organized and a matching stool placed in front of it. Two pink doors led to a walk in closet and an en-suite bathroom, while a glass door led to the balcony. Nearby, was a full length mirror, so Bowser and Ganondorf got up and looked at the mirror.

Bowser was dressed in a vivid cotton pink dress with a full-length skirt. The bell shaped sleeves and the skirt were accented with white lace and pink ribbons respectively.

Ganondorf's dress was way worse. Replacing his Gerudo armor was a corseted black satin dress, making his breathing more difficult. It has a medium-length layered skirt and long narrow sleeves with a gathered waist. It is accented with a large red bow on the back of the dress. In addition to the dress, a tiara similar to Marth's replaced his headgear, making his hair reach up to his shoulders.

"Yay! You're up!" cheered Peach and Zelda.

"Now that you're in my room, you're going to play tea party with us! It will be fun!" Peach said sweetly.

"Wait, why are you doing this?" cried Ganondorf.

"You two always kidnap us, and we'd like to see how it's like to be the kidnappers." Zelda chirped. This scared the two villains, who ran off to the pink entrance door and banged loudly on it. Ganondorf coudn't run fast enough, because the corset made him become out of breath. While banging on the door, the two villains can hear Mario and Link chatting outside.

"What happened to-a Bowser and-a Ganondorf? They're always-a here in-a Smash Mansion." Mario said out.

"I don't know, I last saw them here at breakfast." Link replied.

The two of them were startled by the knockings.

"**BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM!"** went the door.

"MARIO, IS THAT YOU, PEACH TOOK US PRISONER. PLEASE LET US OUT!" Bowser cried out.

"Okie dokie!" said Mario. He touched the silver doorknob and was about to turn it, when his hand was grabbed and pulled away from it.

"No Mario, let them deal with the princesses. They've gave us trouble back home." said Link.

"But…" stammered Mario.

"Let's go play some foosball at Marth's games room." Link interrupted. The villains heard Link dragging Mario towards the games room.

"Plan A's gone, let's use plan B." Bowser said. "Ganondorf, you Warlock Punch the door. Ganondorf obeyed him and punched the door. After punching it, the door was still standing intact.

"There you are." Peach and Zelda said in a demonic tone. "Were you looking for this?" The two princesses pointed towards Bowser's shell and Ganondorf's armor and crown, leaning near the walls. This made the two villain's jaws drop.

"Yes." Bowser said.

"If you want them back, you'll have to play with us. The room's set up already." They dragged the villains towards the pink table with a teapot, some teacups and a plate of assorted cookies on it.

"Looks like we'll be here for a long time…" said Ganondorf.

* * *

**No more writer's block, yay! I chose to give the princesses a darker side and a role of the kidnappers, because Bowser and Ganondorf keeps kidnapping them.**

**This chapter is dedicated to Brightcrest and Plasmatroopa for their loyalty.**


	10. Filler: Behind the Scenes

**Note: All quotes without speakers are said by Bowser.**

* * *

_Inside a trailer, Bowser was staring at a camera. The room had leather couches, a mini-fridge and a bowl full of jelly beans and gummy bears in it. Nearby was a television hooked up to a Nintendo Wii._

"Hey guys, for some reason, this fanfiction had reached over 1000 views. For that, the author aka Mishieru Hime and I would like you to thank you for that." Bowser said.

"The truth is, the whole fanfiction was acted, and wasn't actually real. So as a result, I'm going to show you what happens behind the scenes of an episode of Bad Luck Bowser and how we make one. For you, here's a fanfic just about that."

_The word "Technology" was shown on the screen._

* * *

"Due to filming restrictions and privacy issues regarding the Smashers, we can't film the interiors of Smash Mansion. To bypass the rule, we recreated parts of the house in a soundstage in the Smashwood area. I still fight in competitions sometimes." Bowser said.

_A scene from the Customer Service scene plays with cameras and microphones surrounding Bowser, before cutting to a scene with other Smashers._

"We're allowed to film in the exterior and backyards of Smash Mansion, so we use that to our advantage. The same goes to other locations. If an area is unavailable, we use green screen technology.

_Bowser and Ganondorf were walking on the green screen stage. Below it, it said "Before". _

"We use computer technology so we can put ourselves in the locations."

_The scene morphed to the outside of Smash Mansion, and below it, it said "After"._

"_Smash Mansion is boring." said Ganondorf._

"_And it's hot too." Bowser replied._

_Bowser was back in the trailer_

"We used to hire boom microphones..."

_A scene involving Roy was shot and a microphone got into his way. Enraged, Roy yelled at the operator for 15 seconds, before punching him in the head._

"…but it got in our way. After Episode 7, we switched to microphone stands that are high enough, to prevent it from getting in the way and so the microphones can record enough sound."

* * *

_The word "Cast was shown" before fading away._

"Asides from me, Ness, Lucas, Ganondorf, Peach, Zelda, guest stars, and any non-humanoid Smashers, most of the 'smashers' are actually look-alikes and cosplayers. This is because the real Smashers can't act very well or have tournaments to attend. We put the non-humanoid Smashers in acting classes and use Pokémon actors to replace the Pokémon Smashers. They are mostly Pokémon Contest winners from all over the Pokémon world." Bowser said.

_Bowser is petting and feeding the Pokémon actors. _

"As for Master and Crazy Hand, we use computer generated animation."

_The food fight scene is being acted, when Master Hand is added in the scene, before the scene cuts back to Bowser playing with the Pokémon actors. _

_Marth, Ike, Mario, Pikachu and Link stormed into the soundstage, while their fanfiction counterparts were staring at them. They looked really angry and were heavily armed._

"THAT'S HIM!" yelled Marth.

"We've been losing royalties and commercial offers due to those phony Smashers!" yelled Link.

"Pika, Pika!" chirped Pikachu, who was in attack position.

_Bowser did nothing, but took out his phone and dialed some numbers on the virtual keypad._

"We have some trespassers in Soundstage A. Will you escort them out and ban them from the premises?" Bowser requested.

_Some bodyguards dragged out all the Human Smashers, while Pikachu was contained in a shockproof container and dragged out._

* * *

_The word "Crew" appeared in metallic letters, showing a montage of the crew._

"We don't support foreign labor; we hire local Smashvillians who have talent and have the ability to work here. They're going to say hi to the camera!"

"Here's Kumatora and Toadette, our sound managers."

_The camera panned to a girl with short pink hair and cyan hooded dress and a pink plaited Toad in a pink dress. Over their heads was a pair of gaming headsets, one per person._

"Hello." Kumatora said.

"Hey." Toadette cheered.

"Happy Mask Salesman, our makeup artist. Other than makeup, he uses masks to change the actor's appearance."

_A man with flame orange hair, a deep purple coat and a bag stuffed with masks was shown. Currently, he was applying cosmetics onto a Red look-alike._

"Ohaiyou." said the salesman.

"Mishieru Hime, the director and scriptwriter._"_

_A teenage girl dressed in a red heart shirt, short shorts, black sneakers, and fingerless gloves waved at the camera. Her hair was tied in a sideways bun, some hair ties with plastic red hearts held it up. Her eyes were an unusual shade of magenta._

"Zess T, our chef. She prepares most of the meals for each episode. However, she had a hard time preparing the crepe buffet for Episode 9. With the assistance of Tayse T, Saffron, and Dyllis, they collaborated together to prepare the ultimate crepe buffet. We gave out the leftover crepes to most of the general public and the real Smashers."

_In a kitchen, an orange capped Toad was cooking some meals. Over her black shirt was a red apron, red as Elmo, and some sturdy leather boots covered her feet. She looked like she could feed Smash Mansion all by herself._

"I'm happy the real Sir. Stomps-on-Stuff isn't here." she said sweetly. She took out a chocolate cake from the oven, frosted it, cut it into slices, and served it on plates. The Toad chef took a tub of vanilla ice cream from the fridge and scooped some ice cream onto each plate.

"Dig in!" she announced. The cast and crew took some bites out of the delicious cake.

"And finally, we hired Plasmatroopa for being a loyal fan. We pay him to watch every episode of Bad Luck Bowser, looking for any production errors. If he spots an error, he writes it down on a piece of paper and sends it to us at the end of each episode."

_The camera panned at a green eyed Paratroopa. On his back was a shiny cyan shell, so shiny that you can see your face off it. His large silver wings spread out like Pit's wings. Goggles were on the Paratroopa's head._

"Hello." he said.

* * *

_The word "Merchandise" were typed on the screen, before being deleted._

"We don't have any merchandise for sale, but we're publishing a book called 'Bad Luck Bowser Bonuses'. It's chocked full with behind the scenes footage, the crew, costume designs and any beta elements."

_Bowser held up the cover for 'Bad Luck Bowser Bonuses'. The book looked similar to a leather bound book and the text was written in gold foil. The scene cuts back to Bowser's trailer._

* * *

"That's all it that goes behind the scenes. We put a lot of blood, sweat, and tears into those fanfiction episodes. Thanks for favoriting and following us, and we hope you enjoy our future shows.


	11. The Time Machine

Peach and Zelda smiled at the two villains after playing tea party with them.

"OK boys, thanks for playing with us. You may leave now." Zelda said, while Peach kissed both of them.

"You can take your original clothes with you and change in the closet." said Peach. "We've also prepared a goodie bag for each one of you. When you're done changing, come back here to claim your gift."

Bowser and Ganondorf walked into the closet, getting out of their uncomfortable dresses and back into their usual clothes. After leaving the closet, the two princesses smiled at them. They gave the villains a large transparent cellophane bag of frosted sugar and shortbread cookies, the same ones from the tea party. Those were the ones Bowser loved eating during the Halloween and Christmas parties.

"Goodbye sweeties!" said the princesses in a sweet voice. Bowser and Ganondorf turned the doorknob, exiting the royal room and back into the drab hallways. They both went downstairs.

Bowser walked to the living room and found a mint copy of Super Smash Bros Comix, printed on some shiny paper. That comic possibly belonged to Ness or Lucas, and possibly forgot to take it before leaving. Bowser picked up the comic and read it for 45 minutes. At the end of the comic, he then came up to a full page classified ad.

* * *

"_You can travel through time!_

_Impress your friends and family by travelling through time! Using Sunset Valley technology, Gunther Goth had managed to build his own time machine and use it travel to anywhere! Recently, he had released the blueprints for his time machine, and you can follow his legacy by making your own time machine too! Forget silly inventions like the Phase Distorter, that can't warp living things; this Time Machine can warp anything through time! You can travel to the past and future too. _

_Call X-XXX-XXX-XXXX to order your time machine now!"_

* * *

Bowser took out his phone and called the number on the advertisement, not paying attention to the fact that he was only getting some blueprints. For the next two weeks, he kept dreaming about his new time machine.

* * *

**Two weeks later:**

Bowser was watching TV in his mansion when the loudspeaker blared.

"Will Bowser please report to the office please, you have a package in the office." Bowser walked over to the office to see Master Hand sitting behind it's desk. On the desk, was a cardboard tube with Bowser's shipping details.

"This came in the mail today. It couldn't fit into your mailbox, so I called you here to claim it." said the white gloved hand. Bowser took the package to his room and unwrapped it. Instead of expecting the time machine, he got a series of blueprints.

"_Step 1: Obtain a Porta Potty."_

"Time to see Dr. Andonuts for help." thought Bowser. He took the subway to Dr. Andonuts's office and knocked on the door. The door opened, and Bowser entered the room.

"Hello Bowser." said the old scientist. "Do you need help on your homework?"

"No. I bought something from a comic book, and instead of the time machine that I expected, I got this." Bowser replied. He placed the blueprints on the table. Dr. Andonuts read the blueprints and had an idea in his head.

"Since the fourth Phase Distorter we remade couldn't transport life, I'll work with you, if you let me keep the finished product and the blueprints." negotiated Dr. Andonuts.

"It's a deal." agreed Bowser. He shook hands with Dr. Andonuts.

"OK. The project starts tomorrow, come here at 12pm. You'll be working with us for 6 hours each day with occasional breaks. We'll provide some snacks and drinks."

* * *

**Another two weeks later:**

"Ring, Ring!" went the Koopa's phone. Bowser answered it, until he realized that it was the Receiver phone from Apple Kid. He wasn't expecting a call from Apple Kid, since the development of the Time Machine was over.

"Bowser, come over to Dr. Andonut's lab! He modified it so you can get to your destination faster!" sad the Apple Kid. His youthful voice was heard on the phone.

The Koopa sped out of the mansion and inserted his fare pass into the subway turnstile. After a few minutes, he arrived at the Downtown station, the area where the Andonuts lab and Bowser's mansion is located. Bowser sped off to Dr. Andonuts's lab and rang the doorbell. The large door lifted, allowing him to enter. Bowser entered the house and into the scientist's laboratory, where Jeff, Dr. Andonuts, Apple Kid and Orange Kid were patiently waiting for Bowser to arrive.

"Hi Bowser, thanks for letting us collaborate on your time machine. It's ready to be used right now!" cheered Orange Kid. He pointed towards a time machine that looks like a Porta Potty. A purple light was emitting from the time machine like a light saber.

"So who's going to try it?" asked Bowser.

"You, Jeff, Orange Kid, and Apple Kid will be entering the time machine. I will stay behind for safety reasons." said Dr Andonuts. He grabbed a wooden stick and pointed toward a white board with complex pictures and words.

"First, the four of you enter the time machine." Dr. Andonuts instructed. He pointed the stick at a shabby drawing of Bowser, Jeff, Apple Kid and Orange Kid. Beside it was an arrow pointing a drawing of the time machine.

"Next, when you arrive at your destination, you earn some money and collect some artifacts." Dr. Andonuts pointed the stick at an arrow, leading towards some pictures of money and treasure.

"Finally, when you come back, we will analyze the treasure and sell them for money." Next to the treasure, was an arrow pointing towards money.

"Now have fun kids!" Dr. Andonuts waved at the travelers as they entered the time machine and disappeared.

* * *

The four of them arrived in a lively large town. The large walls surrounding the town were painted with colorful designs and each entrance was guarded by an armored man. Rainbow fireworks painted the night sky and many people hid their faces with unique masks, from traditional masks on seniors, to cartoon character masks on children. Bowser had an awkward moment when he saw a kid in a mask that resembles him.

"Hey kids, would you like a mask to celebrate the Carnival of Time?" asked an orange haired salesman. He was dressed in purple, and had a variety of masks in a giant sack. The man has slanted eyes like Brock and was grinning when there wasn't anything funny around here.

"Sure!" Orange and Apple Kid were jumping up and down, wanting one. The salesman handed each of them a mask resembling a Pikachu, and the kids put them on their heads.

Suddenly, the rumbling of something was heard, possibly an earthquake.

"Guys, look above you." instructed Jeff. His voice was partially muffled by the Pikachu mask. The four of them looked above to see a red-eyed moon, it's evil eyes glaring at them while it was falling to the town.

"I...I shall consume." the Moon said in a really deep, and haunting voice. It was around 100 feet from hitting Clock Town.

"Play the Song of Time!" Jeff yelled. Bowser, Apple Kid, and Orange Kid glanced at each other.

"We don't have an ocarina!" replied Bowser.

"Consume…consume everything." said the Moon. It was close to crashing onto Clock Town. Suddenly, it touched the Clock Tower, making the faces of the clock fall off like a kid on a bike. The rumbling of the moon grew louder as Clock Tower collapsed on some people, immediately killing them in one hit. Orange flames emitted from the moon when it got close to the floor.

Bowser, Apple Kid, Orange Kid, and Jeff jumped over collapsed rubble and dead bodies and made it to the outskirts of Clock Town (the west part). However, an avalanche of flames caught up to them and swallowed them in the flames, burning them to death. They blacked out as they heard a malicious voice.

"You've met with a terrible fate, didn't you?"

* * *

**Meme version: Builds a time machine with the help of Jeff and Dr. Andonuts. Sent to Termina a few minutes before the moon falls on Clock Town.**

**The Time Machine is based on the Sims 3, and it's possible to build one if you have the Ambitions expansion pack.**


	12. Short Story: Pet Shark

**I've been busy working on Redditland (Terraria server) so I didn't have enough time to work on fanfiction. Here's a mini one-shot for all you patient fans.**

* * *

Back in the laboratory, Bowser, Jeff, Apple Kid and Orange kid were laying face flat on the ground. They didn't know what happened, but rumors said that the mask salesman sent them back in time.

"Boys, wake up!" demanded Dr. Andonuts. Everyone woke up and paid attention to the professor. Beside him was the same mask salesman from the carnival.

"This nice man rescued you and brought you back here. Be careful next time!" Dr. Andonuts said. The mask salesman went back into the time machine and disappeared.

"Bowser, it's been a nice time working with you. We'll do our best to modify the machine for your own future use." They shook hands and Bowser left the laboratory. On the way home, the Koopa noticed a sale at the pet store.

"**50% ON ALL AQUATIC CREATURES!" **said the sign. It was held by a mysterious person, so mysterious that you couldn't see its face. Interested, Bowser went inside the pet store. The pet store smelled like rotting manure and wire cages were displayed here and there. In Nintendoland, cats and dogs don't exist. Instead, people would go and buy fairies, Yoshis, and Waddle Dees.

"Hello, how may I help you?" asked the lady. She wore a red apron over her orange shirt and black pants. The lady also looked like she was working there for the summer.

"I heard about those aquatic creatures, do you sell any sharks?" the Koopa inquired.

"Follow me." she instructed. Bowser followed her into the aquatic section and pointed at the giant aggressive shark inside an aquarium. It looked like it wanted to eat somebody.

"That will be 500 Smash Dollars, but since its 50% off, it's 250 Smash Dollars. You get the aquarium for free too." the lady said.

"I'll take it." Bowser said. He took out two 100 dollar bills and a 50 dollar bill, and handed it to the lady.

"Do you need help delivering it to your house? It's an extra 20 Smash Dollars to do so." she suggested. Bowser nodded his head and gave her a 20 dollar bill. The lady gave him a piece of paper and a pencil.

"Your address please?" she asked. The Koopa filled in the details she asked for and returned it back to her. She went into the employees only room, and a couple burly men picked up the aquarium and carried it away.

"We'll get it delivered in 30 minutes, Mr. Koopa!" they yelled. Bowser went home immediately and waited patiently for his arrival. The Ice Climbers noticed that Bowser looked so patient, and asked why.

"I noticed that you're patient today. What are you waiting for?" the pink mountain climber asked innocently.

"I'm waiting for my pet delivery."

"That's nice! I own a pet goldfish, while Popo owns a pet snake. What are you ordering?" Nana asked.

"I'm ordering a pet shark. I want to impress my friends."

"You're ordering a what?" asked Popo.

"A pet shark." Bowser said.

"Ding! Dong!" went the door. "That's my shark!" Bowser said happily.

Bowser rushed to the door and opened it. It was the same men who carried the aquarium away. They had the aquarium in their hands and looked like they couldn't hold it longer. Nana and Popo noticed the shark and ran off.

"Hello Mr. Bowser, here's the shark you asked for." said the strong man. Now, would you show me where to carry it?" Bowser escorted them to his bedroom and they placed the giant aquarium there. The strong men left the room and the house immediately.

* * *

**The next day:**

Bowser got out of his giant bed to see his giant pet shark. Instead of swimming around, it just lied there on the ground. It drowned, which is something a shark shoudn't do.

"There goes my pet shark." he thought.

* * *

**Meme: Buys a pet shark. It drowns.**


	13. Short Story: The Fountain of Youth

"LAND HO!" yelled a Paratroopa. Bowser's flying airship landed on a large tropical island. The metal door rose, and Bowser and a few of his minions jumped out of the ship onto some silky sand.

"Plant a flag, boys!" I'm claiming this land for myself!" the Koopa demanded. A red Koopa ran back into the ship and came back with a flag. The tall flag had a metal post with a black fabric attached to it. On the fabric was the red logo Bowser's troops sported. Bowser pulled out a map and commanded his troops to follow him into the forest.

* * *

**32 Hours Later:**

Bowser stumbled upon a giant reservoir of water, crystal clear that you could see the bottom of the water. Surrounding it was some tall multicolored trees that were over 300 feet long. The only thing the Koopa could hear was the endless sound of falling water from a nearby waterfall. The grass was a lovely shade of turquoise, and a rainbow decorated the sky. Fairies in a variety of colors danced everywhere, while unicorns pranced around the area. Any stone or pebble that existed in the area was painted in a shade of snow white, while pure white sand scattered the area around the reservoir.

Bowser used his hands to command his Koopa Troopas to stay where they are, before walking towards the reservoir. The Koopa scooped some water into his hands and dumped them in his mouth. After a single drop fell onto his tongue, Bowser felt that he was aging backwards.

He didn't realize that he was near the edge of the water, which was about to crumble. Bowser realized it, but it was too late, the force of the crumbling ground had taken him. He fell into the water, while hidden currents swept him to the middle of the reservoir. Luckily for him, he knew how to swim a little because of Mario and Sonic's Olympic Games events. The Koopa proceeded to swim to shore, but every time he was a few meters from the shore, a current blasted him to the middle again. After 58 times, Bowser was out of stamina. He gave in, drowned and turned into a trophy.

* * *

**3 Days Later:**

Mario landed on the island after he, Donkey Kong, Link, Kirby, Samus, Fox, Pikachu, Yoshi, Captain Falcon, Jiggilypuff, Luigi and Ness fled on a lifeboat when their cruise ship sank. He and Link were the first ones to wake up.

"What's a-this?" Mario asked. He looked at the footsteps leading to the forest.

"Someone must had landed on the island." Link replied. He pointed at the flag that Bowser's troops had placed.

"Follow me." Link instructed. They both followed the footsteps into the dense forest.

10 minutes later:

Mario and Link reached the same reservoir Bowser encountered.

"Whoosh!" went the reservoir. The Bowser trophy washed onto the shore, which hit Link's boots. Link picked it up, and the trophy morphed back into Bowser.

"Where am I?" the Koopa asked.

* * *

**There's my short story, written in exactly 500 words (minus author's notes and horizontal lines). Due to ideas that makes short stories, I'll be writing short stories in 1000 words or less, with the occasion of writing a 1000+ word chapter!**

**Meme: Finds Fountain of Youth. Drowns.**


	14. The Cookie

**2 Weeks Ago:**

The Smashers saw Master Hand strolling to the living room bulletin board to post an unknown message. Everyone in the room scrambled to the bulliten board to see what Master Hand had to say. It was hard to see it due to the sheer amount of Smashers.

"Ganondorf, I can't see the post with your head blocking the way!" Diddy Kong whined.

"Sucks to be you, you damn ape." mocked Ganondorf. This enraged Diddy Kong so he climbed onto the Gerudo's head and stole his crown. Ganondorf's long crimson locks fell to his shoulders and partially ruined his vision with his hair blocking his way. Ganondorf parted his hair to prevent other strands of hair from blocking him.

"COME BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SH*T!" the Gerudo roared. Diddy Kong ran off, while the Gerudo persecuted him. Everyone followed them to see what Ganondorf's going to do to the monkey once he's knocked out. This bought Bowser some time to read the important notice, so he walked over to see what's up.

* * *

"_Greetings Smashers._

_We will be having our first annual Iron Chef on August 17 2012. All of the Smashers have been split into 3 groups. Each Smasher is required to bring 1 food item for entry. The food can be homemade or store-bought. Because of that, we will be opening the kitchen on August 14. The entry into the kitchen is 5 Smash Dollars to pay for the ingredients. Once you enter, you have unlimited supply to the ingredients and equipments. Here are the groups I've assigned:_

_**Group 1:**_

_Nana Climber, Fox McCloud, Lucas Itoi, Bowser Koopa, Dedede Dreamer, R.O.B Miyamoto, Ike Greil, Link Farore (Link), David Hayter (Solid Snake), Sonic Hedgehog, Donkey Kong, Wario Wario. People in this group will be providing __**appetizers and side dishes**__._

_**Group 2:**_

_Luigi Mario, Kirby Hoshi, Meta Knight, Zelda/Sheik Harkinian, Jiggilypuff, Diddy Kong, Wolf O' Donnell, Ganondorf Dragmire, Pit Icarus, Red Ketchum (Pokémon Trainer), Peach Toadstool, Marth Lowell. People in this group will be providing __**main **__**course**__._

_**Group 3:**_

_Mr. Game & Watch, Douglas Falcon, Mario Mario, Popo Climber, Lucario, Pikachu, Falco Lombardi, Samus Aran, Link Outset (Toon Link), Olimar Pik, Yoshi Tamago, Ness Onett. People in this group will be providing __**dessert and drinks.**_

_The potluck will start at 6pm sharp, and we will not be providing leftovers for anyone who missed it. We hope to see you there!_

_Master Hand and Crazy Hand."_

* * *

**Present Day:**

The aroma of the delicious food wafted into the hungry Smasher's nose. Bowser had made some poutine, a dish made from French fries topped with some brown gravy and cheese curds. He didn't have enough time to prepare a meal, so he bought the ingredients, heated the fries in an oven, scattered warm gravy on the fries, and top it with some mouthwatering cheese curds. As a twist, Bowser offered some bacon and other meats as condiments. There wasn't much to do, so the Smashers were discussing about what foods they made while the cooks brought the food to the middle of the dining room.

"So Ganon, what did you make?" the Koopa asked.

"This." The Gerudo pointed towards a giant roasted Cucco. The Cucco was roasted to perfection, somewhat like the style of a roasted turkey. A few minutes later, everyone was interrupted by Master Hand. The gloved hand went on a stage to speak.

"Greetings Smashers. Thank you for coming to the first annual Iron Chef. It seems that all of us have brought delicious meals. We hope you enjoy the meals! The Originals may serve themselves now." Master Hand bowed down and left the kitchen, while the Original Smashers got out of their seats to serve themselves. When it was time for the villains to serve themselves, Bowser got up and went to the appetizers section.

Displayed on one table were some ham and cheese pinwheel sandwiches (Nana), a bowl of crunchy potato chips (Fox), boiled eggs (Lucas), Maxium Tomato soup (King Dedede), holographic salad (R.O.B), a basket of dinner rolls (Ike), a giant bowl of cheese and pumpkin soup (Link), reheated meat and vegetable stew (Snake), onion rings (Sonic), a bowl of banana chips (Donkey Kong), and garlic bread (Wario). Bowser glanced at the tray of poutine that he made. Almost half of it was gone already. Bowser looked around to see if anyone was trying it out.

"That Pou….something is really good." Zelda said. She took a fork, speared the fries and inserted it into her mouth.

"You're a really great a-chef Bowser!" Mario hollered. Bowser took a handful of potato chips and served himself some of the meat and vegetable stew. He walked over to the main course table to see what's there.

The covered table showed a bowl of spaghetti (Luigi) with a container of meatballs, rice and some Superspicy Curry sauce (Kirby), a plate of sushi (Meta Knight), a tray of fried Cucco legs (Zelda), rice balls (Jiggilypuff), banana curry sauce (Diddy Kong), some pepperoni pizza (Wolf), the roast Cucco Ganondorf talked about, perfectly arranged gyros (Pit), fried rice (Red), a couple grilled steaks (Peach), and roast beef (Marth). The Koopa sliced himself some roast beef and put it on his plate. He also took some roast Cucco and a few grilled steaks. Bowser went back to his table to eat.

* * *

**30 minutes later:**

Master Hand returned back to the stage to say some more words.

"If anyone is finished their meal, they may come for seconds or dessert." Master Hand announced. "We will be also handing out takeout containers for anyone who wants to claim ownership on some foods." The gloved white hand left the room. Everyone ignored what Master Hand said and ran to the dessert section. Bowser was pretty lucky that he was one of the first people to reach the section, and there were some great desserts there.

On the table were chocolate covered strawberries (Mr. Game and Watch), a tin of chocolates (Captain Falcon), a few slices of Couple's Cake (Mario), a tub of chocolate ice cream (Popo), poffins in a variety of different colors (Lucario), Pokeblocks (Pikachu), astronaut ice cream (Falco), Chu Jelly (Toon Link), Pikmin gummies (Olimar), Yoshi's Cookies (Yoshi) and Peanut Cheesecake bars (Ness). Ness had also brought some bottles of pop, while Captain Falcon had prepared a pitcher of fruit punch. Bowser didn't pay attention to those desserts. Instead, he paid attention to those trays of cookies that Samus made.

"Oooh! A chocolate chip cookie!" Bowser squealed in delight. He grabbed a cookie excitedly like a young boy on Christmas day.

"Bowser…" Samus said. Bowser ignored her words and was about to take a bite in the cookie.

"That isn't…" she continued. Bowser took a bite in the cookie.

"…a chocolate chip cookie. It's oatmeal raisin." Samus finished.

"BLEH!" Bowser dropped the cookie on the table and vomited on the recently mopped floor.

"It's not my fault that you have poor reading skills." the bounty hunter said before going into the janitor's closet to get a mop.

* * *

**Eats a chocolate chip cookie. Raisins.**

**Meanings of the Smashers's last names:**

**Itoi (Lucas) = Last name of the creator of Earthbound**

**Hayter (Snake) = Last name of Snake's voice actor, they share the same first names**

**Miyamoto (R.O.B) = Last name of the creator of multiple Nintendo games**

**Hoshi (Kirby) = Star in Japanese**

**Harkinian (Zelda/Sheik) = The name of the king in the Zelda TV show and CDi games**

**Dragmire (Ganondorf) = The last name Nintendo of America gave Ganondorf in the Link to the Past manuals**

**Tamago (Yoshi) = Egg in Japanese**

**Pokemon do not have last names.**


End file.
